Difficult Days

Sorry it has taken so long to post a note but things have been happening.  First Carter arrived with a group from Lehman College eight students and their team leader.  The group after having been here for about three days were robbed at gun point in the slums of Kiberia.  The important thing is that no one was physically injured but of course everyone was scared.  Myself and others did our best to keep the group calm and helped them process what happen.  Since that time emotions have been really high.  You know everything you think you know for sure comes in to questions.  I found myself in an unwanted position simply by venture of that fact that I am a Social Worker to provide care to others.  Please don't misunderstand because I would have had it no other way.  I wanted to help but it lead others to somehow believe that I was alright not needing the care and concern for my own well being.  I am not sure what that means or says about me.  Must I yell out help, stop being the strong one when others are in need or do I simply except that for me there will be no comfort?  Puzzling because now I feel hurt, alone and betrayed no one even considered that I too just needed a kind word or someone to reach out to me.  So I have decided to dust myself off realize what life has given me and be grateful there is another day.  I am conflicted about returning home but feel a deep since of commitment  to complete what I started here in Kiberia.  What message will I leave if I quit.   Knowing that the events that happen, that changed all our lives could have happen anywhere it just so happens it happen in Kenya.  The places that I thought dreams were made of.  God is still here and with his protection I will finish what I have started.   I am okay but just emotionally sick of feeling only needed but never being the one who needs. 

Had a Wow Moment

Today we went to Rift Valley and to Naivasha Lake.  It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.  The country side and the animals are just wonderful.  We had lunch at the Naivasha Country Club which was okay but the view made up for the food.  It was one of those moments when you realize how amazing it is to be here at this time and right now.  Feeling pretty special to be able to experience all of this.  Great Day!!!

I'm Back on Track

Feeling much better in the last two days.  I also had some meat to eat which helps because I really needed some protien.  You can only eat so much peanut butter.  Anyway yesterday we bought some hamburger meat after my scoping it out for the last couple of days and deciding it looked more like something we are use to.  The burgers were great I  thought I was eating steak.  So moving onward and upward.  I realize that the stomach thing had been going on since almost the  first day got to  Kenya and I was just not feeling well.  I feel stronger and more alert in the last couple of days.  Keep your fingers crossed that I stay this way.  I had an amazing day with my new friend George Chombo.  He is directing a play for one of the high schools here in Kenya.  Basically at a private school and it so happens that the play in "Raising in the Sun"  a classic that was made in 1959 and it was about African American life  in Chicago.  Well it was great he invited me to work with the kids by giving them some perspective on what was happening at that time with African American and what the essence of the play was about.  We worked most of the afternoon but the kids got it understood the importance of the role of each of the characters and how this was apart of African American life in Chicago or anywhere during that time.  Opening night will be next week at the school and it is open to the public.  I was really surprise that the kids wanted to know about life in America and African Americans and also that they cared enough about the production to want to get it right.  This by far was the besst day yet  in Kenya.  Looking forward to many more.

Feeling Blue

Sorry guys but I have not been feeling well so blog was not on my do to list.  Anyway I think I am feeling better but still have a bad stomach.  It makes me a little discourage because we have been really careful about what we eat and drink since our arrival.  I keep going over things wondering when and where did I slip up.  It's a little scary too because you are not at home and I keep wondering will this end my trip early.  Perhaps that is going overboard but when you are not feeling well you have all the time in the world to think about stuff.  So needless to say I have been feeling sorry for myself for the last few days thinking that the trip is a bust and I must be crazy to think I could do such a thing.  It feels good to  put it all down on paper so when I send this off in the airwaves I will be done with it.  Still kind of mad at myself because I thought I was really being  careful.  I decided that soup in the can and bread will be my diet until I leave now.

Playing Close

Well it is another Sunday and we are just kind of sitting around after a nice walk.  What's funny to me is that somehow I thought life in another country would be really different but to tell the truth it is very much like anywhere else.  You know the grass always seems greener someplace else.  Now  this does not mean that there are no differences here because there are plenty more about the people and environment.  The people for the most part I think are nice but have an attitude about Americans and think we are all well off.    Still it is good to be away and experiencing something different.  There are parts of the city that are really beautiful and then those parts that well you know make you OH S!!!  We are somewhat limited because of the safety factor but I have decided that safety is most important but it does impact on our goings and comings. 

Quiet Days

Hey everyone I had a really quiet day yesterday just chilling out at home.  Went for a walk and wrote a lot of e-mails to folks.  All is well.  In the evening we went out  Wynter (roomy) and Magda who is a friend that lives in Kenya.  We went to this Kenyan club and heard a live band.  Really nice music and I really enjoyed it.  What strikes me funny is at the clubs here when the music hits you people just get up and start dancing.  Men and women just start to dance no pressure on having a partner.  Actually it is kind of nice because it seems to be all about just enjoying the music.  Yes there is a lot of bumping and grinding going on with the dance but its all good. 

Week Ending

Well today is Thursday and I have finished another week in the slums.   Good news I saw the little  seven year old girl today and she was much brighter.  It's not so much that her situation has changed but I think she at least knows that someone is fighting for her.   She had that hope back in her eyes which is the thing that keeps me coming back to Kenya.  Today we met with a little girls at the school who lives with a host family because her grandmother died recently.  What strikes me most is  that her circumstances doesn't allow her to just take a moment after  the death of grandmother's  because she find a place her and her sibling to live.   She is only 14 years old and yet has the responsibility of an adult now.   I am amazed at how well these children handle their daily struggle with pride and hope.   I am learning so much about life and how in an minute things can change and  deep down someplace there is that thing that keeps us going.  All of us have that something but most of us will never have to use it like these children do.    WOW