Difficult Days

Sorry it has taken so long to post a note but things have been happening.  First Carter arrived with a group from Lehman College eight students and their team leader.  The group after having been here for about three days were robbed at gun point in the slums of Kiberia.  The important thing is that no one was physically injured but of course everyone was scared.  Myself and others did our best to keep the group calm and helped them process what happen.  Since that time emotions have been really high.  You know everything you think you know for sure comes in to questions.  I found myself in an unwanted position simply by venture of that fact that I am a Social Worker to provide care to others.  Please don't misunderstand because I would have had it no other way.  I wanted to help but it lead others to somehow believe that I was alright not needing the care and concern for my own well being.  I am not sure what that means or says about me.  Must I yell out help, stop being the strong one when others are in need or do I simply except that for me there will be no comfort?  Puzzling because now I feel hurt, alone and betrayed no one even considered that I too just needed a kind word or someone to reach out to me.  So I have decided to dust myself off realize what life has given me and be grateful there is another day.  I am conflicted about returning home but feel a deep since of commitment  to complete what I started here in Kiberia.  What message will I leave if I quit.   Knowing that the events that happen, that changed all our lives could have happen anywhere it just so happens it happen in Kenya.  The places that I thought dreams were made of.  God is still here and with his protection I will finish what I have started.   I am okay but just emotionally sick of feeling only needed but never being the one who needs.